


Zinnia

by Curionenene



Series: Zinnia [1]
Category: Super Junior
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama, Fluff, Gratuitous use of flower meanings, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not by the main characters, Oiran AU, Prostitution, Romance, Yewook is a side pairing, because I was a Japanese studies minor then and this is what you get a degree for, set in a universe where Japan had more cultural influence on Korea, so much cheese, very side kangteuk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-14 01:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11197182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Curionenene/pseuds/Curionenene
Summary: The floating world is a candy-coloured place where dreams come true. Only, these dreams come at a cost. On the side of the customer, it is copious sums of money… but what of the side of the provider? What exactly do they give?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The world which this fic occurs in is based on the Yoshiwara district in Edo Japan, but in a futuristic era which, in my mind, has steam-punk elements of candy-colours. This was probably inspired by a movie ‘Sakuran’, which I watched a tiny little bit of during a holiday with friends. And also probably inspired by the extremely good manga ‘Ooku’. 
> 
> The meaning of the flowers are based on the Japanese interpretation called Hanakotoba. However, I chose the flower Zinnia to represent the courtesan-like characters in my fic more because they are candy-coloured rather than of its meaning.

The floating world – a place where dreams comes true.

It is a place of colours and wonders, of whimsical merriment. The buildings are lit up with candy-coloured firelights, and the streets are strewn with flower petals of all fancies. Goldfish swim madly in the air, whacking anyone who wasn’t paying attention with their tails and vendors offer translucent balls of glass candy of every colour, with the promise of beautiful dreams if you’d just let one melt on your tongue.

But even with all the other wonders that filled the streets, nothing could compare with the main product which the floating world existed for –

The Zinnia. The beautiful men and women known as flowers of loyalty.

They sit behind the bamboo wood of the canary cages, dressed in gorgeous outfits of brightly coloured silks, staring at you with doe-like eyes and imploring you to buy them from their cage and offer them their freedom. Not for too long – maybe an hour or so, and in return, they would do anything you wanted them to.

That is… for the right price.

~*~

Donghae puts the finishing touches to his hair, twisting his long dark hair into a simple bun and securing it with an elaborate pin that was in the shape of a lotus surrounded by lilies and studded with aquamarine. And just as he does, there is a shout ringing through the establishment in the form of his name.

He frowns, not bothering to listen. It's the same every night after all. "Donghae! Where is Donghae?!" he mutters in synch with the shouts that reverberate around in the house. "It's almost the hour of the dog and he still isn't down yet? What if he costs us the month's electricity because a potential client asks for him but he isn't there?! Donghae!"

He waves his arms sarcastically into the air as he imagines Mama-san would usually do, then drops them in surprise when a soft chuckle sounds from his left. 

"Leeteuk-hyung! Don't scare me like that!" Donghae clutches his heart, which from the way it stutters, seemed to have stopped for a second. "I thought you were Mama-san!"

"Serves you right for playing the fool then," Leeteuk replies cheerfully, then, his plain white robe swishes across the floor as he settles next to his dongsaeng. His delicate hands pick up the outer sash, which Donghae has neglected and left lying on the floor. 

Just as he is about to help wear it, Donghae stops him, "There's no point is there? It'll be off before half the night is gone anyway."

Leeteuk's eyes soften and a sad smile graces his lips, but he continues despite Donghae's words and ties the elaborate outer sash on anyway. "There. All presentable. Now go, before Mama-san has a fit."

Donghae sighs and reluctantly nods. Then, despite his unwilling expression, he rises with a grace that surpassed even most girls. It was that grace, Leeteuk reflected, that made Donghae one of the most popular Zinnia in the country.

"I'll see you tomorrow, hyung." Donghae tries to smile cheerfully at the elder, but Leeteuk can see the frustration that lay deep inside the younger's honey brown eyes.

"Ah!" The show of Donghae's rebellion reminds him. "Do you have your pouch of ambrosia?"

A sigh, then a glass-like clink as Donghae opens a pouch of what appears to be colourful balls of hard candy. "It's here, but you know I'm not going to use it."

"Why not, Donghae?" Leeteuk asks even though he knows. " _You_ know it'll make things easier."

"Only for those who have given up leaving this hell-hole." Donghae replies curtly, before he leaves, blue silks skimming over the ground.

Hearing Mama-san's cry of relief and the nagging that naturally followed, Leeteuk steps closer to the window and looks up at the natural sky.

And as always, he offers a prayer to God, asking that, for once, Donghae's customer would be kind.

~*~

Hyukjae enjoys coming to the floating world on Market day, the only day he is free to do whatever he wants. But not so much for of the wares they offered. Instead it’s because he can leave those two swords behind at the gates. Those two swords which he has to carry everywhere else. Those two swords which draw crowds to him, pushing whatever they can at him, hoping that his favour will fall on the thing that he chooses.

Those two swords which mark him as the second prince of this country.

It’s like shedding a pair of shackles, and he always loves leaving them to the gatekeeper, who no doubt hates the responsibility his prince left to him – both of the physical welfare of the swords, and the silent agreement to secrecy – that no one should know that the second prince was visiting such a vulgar place in his free time because of a loose-mouthed gatekeeper.

He’s in such a good mood, that for five minutes, he just traipses around, grinning like an idiot at everything he sees.

A soft cough reminds him that he isn’t alone, and he turns to see Yesung tapping his foot impatiently. “Well, time is ticking and the best of the Zinnia are getting taken. Are we going to carry on with business or were we actually just here to take a walk.”

Hyukjae laughs and tilts his head, signalling for them to follow him. He doesn’t blame Yesung for his impatience – his two personal guards always drew lots for every time they came with here, and the one who won would get to be in the company of a Zinnia of their choice, the money taken out of Hyukjae’s own purse, and this time, it was Yesung who had won.

It’s an arrangement Hyukjae had thought up which had already reaped several benefits – some of which being his popularity with the guards that he was assigned, as well as paring down one less pair of eyes to look in on the life that was supposed to be private to him.

“Finally!” Yesung grins, smoothing down his jacket, pretending to be more desirable than he really was as they march towards the row of cages where the beautiful Zinnia are displayed. Hyukjae grins at him and shakes his head – this is the third time Yesung has won in a row. And for all the fail that this bodyguard of his was, he seems unnaturally lucky when it came to winning this little competition.

Truth to be told, Hyukjae is rather glad that Yesung had won again. Other than the fact that he could slice a man into half with a lazy flick of his sword, the guard is ridiculously innocent. He’s sure Yesung’s idea of a fun night with a Zinnia encompasses taking him or her for a walk down the food alley and then going to the lake to see the stars.

He isn’t so sure about his other guard – a stoic man named Kangin. Hyukjae rarely got a word out of the man, and whenever he did, it was usually to tell Hyukjae of the arrivals of important people and documents. Which is good, because Yesung tended to forget that outside of Hyukjae and a select few others, most people in the palace were stuffy and sticklers for protocol. He is sure that Kangin would protect his prince with his life, which Kangin _would_ be doing tonight, but other than that…

“Hey, look. There’s a huge crowd over there.” Yesung points out and Hyukjae looks over. There is indeed a crowd, and curious, he moves forward, trying to see what has caught the attention of the masses.

And when he sees what all the commotion is about, elbowing his way close to the front, he realizes that there is indeed a cause for a commotion.

In front of him, is the most beautiful man he has ever laid eyes upon – dressed in a royal blue kimono that is modest, yet elegant at the same time; his hair, long and silky tied in the simple style of the male Zinnia, held up by an elaborate lotus pin.

This man’s name was _Renge_ then – the lotus. A water flower.

But what catches Hyukjae’s eyes is not the beauty, nor the finery. Instead, it is the spark in this man’s eyes that Hyukjae has never seen in any of the Zinnia before.

He eyes the small pouch that sits by the man’s waist, and he observes, with a growing smile, that the Zinnia doesn’t play with it, clinking the contents inside – in fact he doesn’t touch it at all.

And Hyukjae knows that he wants to be in the company of this Zinnia tonight.

~*~

The bidding for hours with a Zinnia is like bidding for anything else. You call out the amount you with to pay, for the number of hours you want and for what purpose you wish to use the Zinnia for. And by the end of the round, the caretaker of that Zinnia you’re bidding for will announce the winning bid and you claim your prize. It is similar to bidding for a pretty plant, or a prized calf, or a nicely-crafted cupboard.

If the Zinnia is less popular, then this process will repeat several times a night, a scant few minutes after the first customer returns him or her. But for a Tayuu of the house like Donghae, it happens only once – right at the hour of the Dog, because for a jewel like Donghae, the rich can afford to pay for the whole night.

Donghae swallows a sigh as he stares at the scene which happens every night. He hears the calls of crowd and ignores them. He knows those that the one who will have him tonight will not come from the hollering screams – instead it is those that send their servants with the white slips of paper that would have a chance.

He recognizes all of the servants that come tonight – it is the usual few, and for Mama-san, she would consider this a slow night. A repeat customer usually would not give extra tips or do extra things. But Donghae supposes this is good – he won’t have to deal with anything new tonight – routine lets him think about other things. 

Thus, he instead, he focuses his attention to the process of the bidding to his right. It is the bidding for one of the newer Zinnia of their establishment – a fetching, feminine boy who went by the name of _Bara_. Too new to be given the likes of ambrosia, but popular enough that he attracts crowds nearly as big as Donghae’s. He looks terrified and Donghae’s heart goes out to him.

Looking at the potential clients, Donghae picks out the one most likely to get him and his lips thin. The man has gotten Donghae before, and he is rough with his actions – too rough for the likes of the fragile boy beside him, Donghae decides.

He feels eyes on him and he looks back up to see _Bara_ staring curiously at him. And Donghae smiles, giving him a reassuring grin, winking at him before his eyes shift to _Bara’s_ potential client. Tilting his head, Donghae signals for _Bara_ to watch before he makes his move.

He catches the attention of that client with a simple lift of his hand, fiddling with the pin on his head so that the jewels flash in the colourful light. It takes a while but the potential client finally turns to Donghae instead.

And now, all Donghae knows that all he has to do is to lower his head, peering from under fluttered eyelashes at the man.

There is a pause, and he can feel the man’s full attention on him. And he looks up, eyes liquid amber, before he looks away.

He doesn’t need to look to know that the potential customer has pulled his servant back before he can go and directs the servant towards Donghae’s caretaker instead. 

Donghae is satisfied and he smiles at _Bara_ , who smiles gratefully back. Either the potential client’s reputation is that famous, or _Bara_ has had him before. But Donghae is glad he could help. God knows that _Bara_ would have worse as the years passed, so what was one more year of relative ease?

They both return to their passive states, Donghae ready to settle into boredom again when something catches his eye – a crop of finely grown golden hair. A westerner?

No… Donghae’s sharp eyes correct that thought. Not a westerner… just someone who has hair like theirs, and now that Donghae takes a second look, he sees the black roots of that someone’s hair. It is dye – good dye. Dye only the rich could afford.

However, Donghae has never seen him before. He is a rogue element. And rogue elements usually didn’t bode well.

Donghae feels nervous, feeling the man’s eyes on him… yet at the same time, he feels strangely hopeful.

It is something to think about as the last bids are collected and the round begins to close.

~*~

Hyukjae is no stranger to the real process of the bidding in these higher end establishments. Rarely did those who made the most noise get what they wanted. Instead, it was the quiet power that won, and he had easily gotten Yesung to fill in his bid, stamped with the royal seal that was sure to win it.

Hyukjae rarely uses such methods to secure a bid, finding it cowardly, as well as risky. But tonight, he has no qualms in doing so. 

Men, whatever sort they are, are instinctively savage when it comes to the things they want. 

He watches quietly as the caretaker subtly looks through the slips or white paper, then he sees her pause and knows she recognizes the royal seal.

Or perhaps she sees the seal, doesn’t recognize it, but knows it’s important enough to tuck into her obi. Hyukjae doesn’t really care, as long as it gets to grace the interest of the proprietor of the place.

It comes as no surprise to him when his name is announced as the winner’s. Well, not his name really - a pseudonym rather. ‘Eunhyuk’. Something he uses when he’s out on the streets and doesn’t want to be known.

He smiles, satisfied that he has gotten his prize. And when he turns and notices Yesung staring at the Zinnia betting just on the right of his, he slips a white paper and a huge sum of money into Yesung’s robe. 

Patting the surprised guard with a grin, he says nothing and makes his way up to the landing and is ushered inside. A room will be prepared for them, sound-proofed and private for whatever they will do. 

Hyukjae catches the eye of the Zinnia and finds suspicions in it. He shrugs to himself – the Zinnia will find out soon enough that there is nothing to fear from him.

~*~

Obviously, Donghae thinks otherwise as he is pulled aside from following the mysterious customer and into a room so violently it’s like a scene out of a cartoon. 

He lets out a squeak of surprise before he realizes it is Mama-san who faces him. And he colours as she stares at him in stern disapproval. “I hope you won’t squeak like that in front of the prince.”

“Of course not, Mama-san…” Donghae begins before the whole of Mama-san’s sentence finally sinks into his brain. “Wait… what prince?”

Mama-san mutely hands Donghae a slip of white paper and Donghae takes it. His eyes widen as he sees the seal on it. It takes a while though, before Donghae matches the seal to the memories in his mind to distinguish why he knows it’s important. He’s only seen it several times on official letters Mama-san reads to them, but there’s no mistaking it.

It’s the royal seal. 

Gaping, Donghae doesn’t protest when Mama-san takes back the paper. But when she begins to lecture on how Donghae should behave in the prince’s presence (second prince actually, from his hair. The crown prince is proper as they come while the second was the notorious dastardly royal bastard), Donghae begins to resent the prince for upsetting his relatively peaceful night.

Barely keeping from rolling his eyes and tapping his foot in impatience, Donghae bears the lecture with a poorly concealed disdain.

He hasn’t even met the prince properly yet, and already, Donghae hates him.

~*~

Hyukjae’s never been really made to wait before, and it’s a novel experience, this itchy scratchy of anticipation. However, he deduces that if it were a more serious situation than just meeting a Zinnia, like waiting for a loved one to come out from the operating room, Hyukjae wouldn’t like this feeling very much.

He has time to observe that the wallpaper, with the dragonfly print, is not blue as he first thinks, but a rather fetching blue-green that borders almost into turquoise. He also has time to pick at the tatami mats – a secret hobby of his that his etiquette trainers has always treated as a vice. But it is interesting what he can find hidden there, lost among the straws by human error – a hairpin, a coin, a piece of plastic that looks like it could have belonged to a toy.

He has garnered quite a collection by the time a maid comes knocking on the door, apologetic for making him wait. He sweeps his collection of prizes into his pocket and smiles at her, shaking his head. By the time the Zinnia slides open the door with an elegant hand, there is no sign of the childish Hyukjae, only the proud visage of a prince.

They exchange the usual platitudes. Greetings, the exchange of names. The Zinnia introduces himself as _Renge_ , confirming Hyukjae’s suspicions, and he in turn introduces himself as Eunhyuk, and from the look on _Renge’s_ face, he can tell that _Renge_ knows that both of them weren’t using their real names.  

There is an awkward silence thereafter, which Hyukjae feels suffocated in. Somehow, for a top-notch Zinnia whose expertise is entertainment, he certainly isn’t making Hyukjae feel welcome.

Finally, after a few minutes of trying to squirm discretely, Hyukjae opens his mouth to talk just as the Zinnia does the same.

“So what do you want to do?”

“What do you wish to do with me, sir?”

“Eh?” They both say at the same time. Then there is a pause as _Renge_ turns away in embarrassment of making such an inelegant sound, and Hyukjae is left blinking at how their questions, although similar, had such vast differences in meaning.

“I don’t… wish to do anything _to_ you…” Hyukjae says after a pause and awkwardness. The statement causes _Renge_ to turn and face him with a stare that makes Hyukjae rush through the next part of his sentence. “But I don’t mind doing something _with_ you.”

There is a deafening silence in which Hyukjae swears he could here the crickets chirping in the willow glade ten li from here. 

“…There’s a difference?” there is a skeptical tone in Donghae’s voice and Hyukjae can see in _Renge’s_ eyes that he has marked Hyukjae for a fiend and is thinking of something much more rated than what Hyukjae meant.

“No! No!” Hyukjae blushed crimson, nearly falling back in surprise and embarrassment. “I didn’t mean _that_ kind of _something_! I meant like… going to the movies! Or playing games! Or-”

“Luring me into a false sense of security before you act?”

“Ye- what? No!” Hyukjae stares baffled at _Renge_ . He wonders how this Zinnia has become the Tayuu of the house behaving like that. Then he sees a glimmer of amusement in this Zinnia’s eye and he has to admit to himself that the spirit behind this sort of behaviour was what had caused Hyukjae to choose to spend a good sum of money on _Renge_ in the first place.

Hyukjae calms himself, taking a few deep breathes before shrugging. “Well… if you’re so certain that I’m going to do something to you, then I guess my money will be kind of wasted for tonight.”

Hyukjae seems to turn his attention to the tatami mats, but in secret, he peers up at _Renge_ , who seems surprised at the announcement. He hides a smile at the look of confusion when minutes pass and _Renge_ realizes Hyukjae is serious. Finally, as if unable to stand it any longer, _Renge_ opens his mouth to ask. “What do you mean?”

“Well… obviously you and I have different ideas of what entertainment entails. And you only seem to be interested in your kind… which I will definitely not partake in.” Hyukjae looks up with a small smile. “So I will have to amuse myself instead.”

Now it’s Hyukjae’s turn to be amused when the Zinnia gets irritated at the implication. “I am _not_ only interested in… that kind of _entertainment_ -”

“Really? Then why do you seem intent for me to do it with you?” Hyukjae raises an eyebrow and watches _Renge_ colour.

“I AM NOT-” _Renge_ realizes his voice has risen and coughs, quietening back down. “I am _not_ intent for you to do _it_ with me. It’s just that every customer that I’ve had seems to have that agenda in mind.”

Hyukjae stares at _Renge_ in incomprehension. “Every customer?”

There is a roll of eyes and then a nod.

“But surely…” Hyukjae takes a moment to properly formulate his sentence. “…there must be one or two who just wishes for conversation and company?”

_Renge_ is surprised at the man’s naivety, then he realizes it’s probably because he’s been coddled inside the palace, his eyes shielded from things the higher society deemed improper. “Perhaps for a lower-ranked Zinnia.” _Renge_ answers patiently. “But for in the situation of the Tayuu like me… well, when one pays so much for something, might as well make full use of it. It’s just making the best of one’s money.”

“So… the last time you went out for a movie was…?”

“…I don’t know…” _Renge_ confesses truthfully. “It’s been a while certainly.”

Hyukjae is quiet for a while, but it is a thoughtful quiet. And when he is done, he looks up with a twinkle in his eye as he stands up and unceremoniously grabs _Renge’s_ hand. “Well then it’s settled!”

_Renge_ nearly stumbles as he is practically dragged down the corridor, and they both startle everyone they pass. “Hey! Wait! Where are we going?!”

“The movies of course!” Hyukjae answers with a merry tone and they are out in the open in no time, _Renge_ barely having any time to grab his coat as they rush out.

Stunned, _Renge_ lets the prince drag him along without any protest for a few minutes. What was _this?_ Why was the prince taking him to the _movies_ ? _Renge_ wasn’t a cheap Zinnia, and even if Mama-san had chosen the prince’s bid more for the prestige than the money, it would have still been a pretty sum, knowing the nobility and their pride. So why was he wasting all that for something as simple and time-wasting as a movie?

Turning back, Hyukjae sees the scandalized look on _Renge’s_ face and laughs. “Why? Worried I’ll do something to you in the dark of the theatre? Don’t worry, I’m not that crass. I promise I won’t touch you at all.”

_Renge_ colours at the assumption, but before he can rebuke, Hyukjae has already turned back and is pulling _Renge_ even faster through the street. So fast that the lights and sights that _Renge_ had grown up with becomes a blur, and all he can see is that strong, lithe figure with the crop of golden hair that is leading him.

~*~

The movie is good – a safe movie meant for family and children. It is not shown inside the floating world, which means Eunhyuk has to smuggle _Renge_ out in order to watch it, and _Renge_ is grateful to get out of that suffocating district for at least a while, even if it meant that he’d be groped in the dark for it.

But much to _Renge’s_ surprise, Eunhyuk is a man of his word. He keeps his hands to himself and the only time he touches _Renge_ is when he reaches over for the drinks and accidentally brushes against the Zinnia’s hand. Even then, he apologizes and _Renge_ can’t really concentrate on the movie after that.

After it is over, they take their time to walk back. And through their walk, they talk about simple things, asking simple questions. It is here that _Renge_ finds out that Eunhyuk’s favourite colour is blue, the same as his. And that they both enjoy looking up at the night sky, staring at the stars.

For some reason, _Renge_ blurts out his belief in aliens, and to his surprise, Eunhyuk engages him in an intelligent discussion about the speculated life that is out there. By the time _Renge_ realizes the conversation has moved on from that to taxes, to flowers, to human rights, to food, to art, to literature, to games, to how fast time has passed, they are back in the floating world at the door of the Zinnia establishment _Renge_ works for. And he suddenly wishes for the first time that the night could be longer.

Eunhyuk is polite to the point as he drops _Renge_ off, playing the part of the perfect gentleman, and making _Renge_ feel too much like a delicate lady. There is a pause, and as if embarrassed to ask, Eunhyuk runs a hand through his golden hair. “Uh… I’m sorry if this is presumptuous of me… but would you mind if I come back and meet you again next week? I always come here during my free time on Market day.”

_Renge_ doesn’t know how to reply, and all he can say is – “Well, you’ll have to win the bid first…”

A slow but unsure smile creeps onto Eunhyuk’s mouth, and taking it for a tentative ‘maybe’, he nods, understanding as he begins to leave.

Somehow, that look tugs at _Renge’s_ heart, and he finds himself calling out to Eunhyuk. “Wait!”

Eunhyuk turns around, a curious look on his face, and _Renge_ finds himself half wanting to pull the man back into the house even though the time the prince has paid for has already ended. He opens his mouth to ask anyway.

But for some reason, what comes out of his mouth instead is - “Donghae.”

“…What?” Eunhyuk blinks, frozen to the spot as he stares at the beautiful silhouette _Renge_ makes, standing against the back light.

“Donghae… that’s my real name.”

And then, he loses his breath when Eunhyuk turns to him with a brilliant smile…

~*~

“You look happy.” Is Leeteuk’s statement as he sees the soft glow of Donghae’s cheeks as the younger hurries back to his room.

Startled, Donghae stares at Leeteuk in confusion, before he just shakes his head and rushes into his room like an embarrassed schoolgirl. Leeteuk stares – Donghae has never behaved like this before.

He peeks into Donghae’s room and sees the younger smiling at a beautiful comb that has the design of the chrysanthemum carved into it. And Leeteuk knows that it is a gift from the second prince because the chrysanthemum was adopted by the Royal Family as the Imperial flower at least a century ago.

“Hyukjae…” He hears Donghae whisper and he sees the blissful grin as Donghae traces the pattern in the carved ivory with a delicate touch, and Leeteuk knows exactly what he is seeing.

That night, he gets on his knees in thanks to God for answering his prayers.

~*~


	2. Chapter 2

When Donghae wakes up the next day, the events of the last night feel exactly like a dream. Only, the comb that Hyukjae gave him is real, so much that there are marks in his hand from where he clutched it tightly in his sleep. 

Donghae goes through work as usual that night, and by that time, last night has already become a far memory. But somehow, every time this customer makes him do something he doesn’t like, Hyukjae’s face flashes in his mind and it all becomes much easier. 

Throughout the week, he keeps the comb tucked inside his obi, and whenever things get tough, its presence seems to give him strength, a smile on his face and a pleasant memory to push him on. 

Still, he doesn’t expect to see Hyukjae again – a customer’s promises are nothing but Sakura blossoms to him – magnificent while they are there, but flighty and not meant to last. 

Imagine his surprise when on market day, sitting bored behind the cages, he sees that finely cropped head of golden hair again. 

~*~  

“Why are you here again?” 

Hyukjae turns around in surprise at the question that is thrown at him the minute both he and Donghae enters the prepared room. He raises an eyebrow that has its own special smile of amusement. “You always this rude to your customers?” 

“…” Donghae knows Hyukjae has got a point, but even in surprise, his tongue knows its business better than his brain. “I’m sorry… I’ll try that again. Why are you here, o-honoured second prince of Chousen, my Lord and liege?” 

Hyukjae stiffens and Donghae watches as his face falls and he turns away. The sparkle in his eyes dim and it looks almost as if it had been locked away behind translucent glass. “…Don’t… just… don’t…” 

Feeling guilty although he doesn’t know exactly what he’d done wrong, Donghae diverts his eyes. “Sorry…” He mutters, and is surprised at how easy apologizing is, when he usually wriggles his way out of anything that might bend his pride.  

“No… it’s okay.” Hyukjae smiles, and after a moment the spark is back, although dimmed. And somehow Donghae knows he will try his hardest through the night to bring it entirely back. “Come… let’s go and play computer games today!” 

“…What?” Donghae’s eyes widen in confusion but before he can say anything more, he is pulled out of the room as Hyukjae rushes past him excitedly. 

And Donghae stumbles all the way to the door, this time not even managing to grab his coat nor having time to change to his outside shoes. He runs through the street in his bedroom slippers, rushing after an elated man who is behaving like a child. 

But the more he runs, the more balance he regains, and soon, he is running as fast as Hyukjae, and if he hadn’t not known the way, he would have been the one leading. 

Then, Hyukjae turns his head around, and Donghae sees that the sparkle is back. And somehow, the Zinnia’s heart soars as they run together to the same beat, hand in hand, away from the candy lights of the floating world. 

~*~ 

For the next month, things progress in the same way. Hyukjae will pay a ridiculous amount at the bidding and bring Donghae out on what Leeteuk has begun to coin as ‘excursions’. Donghae learns fast, and soon he hangs his coat and walking shoes near the door so that he can grab them easily on the way out. He’d rather not tell Mama-san not to prepare the room despite the waste – somehow, he doesn’t want to see Mama-san’s judgemental look because he knows that he would be tempted to hit her if he did, benefactress or not. 

They always do seemingly childish things that don’t fit Hyukjae’s position, but do his person. Things that seem so mundane that you and I would raise eyebrows at – but it is no surprise that they do, because as Hyukjae finds out, Donghae has never flown kites before, nor has he played with marbles, nor gone to the Summer Matsuri and actually stuff his face rather than just being an arm accessory of a noble’s whim. 

For Donghae, the rest of the days seem to meld together, the Zinnia going through them as routine. He doesn’t remember their contents, only wishing that they’d pass faster to Market day. 

He definitely is not expecting for a knock to come on his windowsill one day while he is dressing from after his afternoon bath and when he turns around he sees Hyukjae winking at him. 

He must have looked like he’s about to scream, because Hyukjae is in front of him in a second, putting a hand over Donghae’s mouth and whispering reassuring whispers. “Shh… It’s okay. It’s just me… Keep quiet for a moment and I’ll tell you what’s happening, alright?” 

Donghae doesn’t need any explanation really, because at the next moment, he hears the thunder of footsteps and the words “prince”, “escaped” and “find”. Wriggling out of Hyukjae’s hold, Donghae eyes him with barely concealed amusement. “You escaped from the palace?” 

 “Now, now. What’s this disbelief?” Hyukjae quirks his eyebrow in that special way of his. “I’ve been escaping my guards since I was a knave no more than five.”  

“I didn’t say I doubted your ability… but don’t you have princely duties to attend to?” Donghae shakes his head in mock disapproval. “Although I wouldn’t know, being only a lowly Zinnia.”  

“Hmmph.” Hyukjae snorts as he takes a last glance at the window to ascertain he is safe, before he lies down on the floor, seeming to want to take a nap. “You may be a Zinnia, but you certainly aren’t ‘lowly’.” 

“So… What bring the second prince to my chamber whilst I’m only half-dressed?” Donghae asks as he turns his attention to the hanger which his inner robe hung from. 

At the sentence, Hyukjae finally seems to realize that Donghae is topless. He wonders why he didn’t realize before and speculates that it’s because Donghae doesn’t seem the least bothered about it. Hyukjae however, doesn’t have the same inhibitions and his face tints pink. “Oh! Er… Carry on.” 

Amused, Donghae cannot help but tease Hyukjae further as he slips on the thin piece of silk. “Why are you so embarrassed? We _are_ both men, aren’t we not?”   

Hyukjae swallows and turns away, deigning to answer. 

Donghae’s next comment is innocent and designed to turn Hyukjae a shade darker of red. “Well, you are lucky then…” and at Hyukjae’s questioning look, he continues, “That I’m not someone who wears the upper clothings first.” 

Hyukjae lets out a sound that is akin to a cat being put through a shredder and Donghae finally relents, tying the inner sash before sitting comfortably beside Hyukjae. “Wit aside, you haven’t answered my question – What brings you here?”  

“Can’t I just come and visit?” Hyukjae replies lazily, his eyes fluttering close as he basks in the sunlight like a cat.  

“It’s not Market day.” Donghae replies just as simply. He knows that despite his reputation saying otherwise, Hyukjae is not as lazy, irresponsible and disrespectful of the palace rules as people think he is. 

“…” Hyukjae sighs, knowing Donghae will not let him rest until he tells. “Things are… testy… between our country and Xing now. However, my brother is busy with the westerners, and I have no choice but to help him smooth over the ruffled feathers.” 

“Things not going well?” Donghae guesses from Hyukjae’s tone. As well as the tired dark circles under the prince’s eyes that would have gone unnoticed if Donghae hadn’t had that face in his dreams for the month past. 

Hyukjae makes a sound Donghae takes for a yes, and with a rueful chuckle, Donghae shifts himself, sitting seiza as he pulls Hyukjae into his lap. The prince opens his eyes questioningly until Donghae puts a hand over them, and Hyukjae has no choice but to close them again. 

Seconds later, he is answered not by words, but by the strong yet gentle hands rubbing away the exhaustion from his temple. 

“Sleep.” Donghae orders simply, and despite being royalty and thus not obliged to obey a commoner’s word, Hyukjae does so. 

That day, Donghae learns that even princes snore in their sleep and let loose lips whisper their problems of the daytime. 

~*~ 

“Should you really be coming over so much?” Donghae asks Hyukjae one day. 

Hyukjae opens one eye from his supposed nap in surprise. “Why…? Don’t you like me coming over?” 

“I do!” Donghae immediately reassures, placing a hand on Hyukjae’s shoulder gently before he continues. “It’s just… is it wise for the second prince to waste so much of our country’s resources on visiting a Zinnia every week?”  _ ‘And not even doing much when he does…’ _

Hyukjae lifts up a hand and clasps it tightly onto the one Donghae has on his shoulder. “I’d never think that visiting _you_ would ever be a waste, but I understand your point. The truth is, this money is all budgeted for my allowance, and if I don’t use it, it’d just be gathering dust back in the treasury. At least, this way, the money is back in the circular flow and giving income to more people.”  

Donghae understands the economics behind Hyukjae’s rationalizing, but stubborn, he continues. “But even if you argue that way, shouldn’t you use that money to do more… charitable things? You don’t know where the money goes to in the circular flow, and most likely it’d only be benefiting the rich in the end. But if you donate that money to… let’s say… the orphanages, then you’d know at least it’s definitely benefiting someone who needs it at least.” 

Hyukjae eyes Donghae for a while, before he sits up and tilts Donghae’s face upwards so he can stare into the man’s burnt amber eyes. Donghae squirms under his knowing gaze, and without any significant stimulant, his cheeks burn pink. “Hyuk-” 

“What prompted all of this?” Hyukjae pre-empts, tilting his head curiously. And when Donghae only diverts his eyes, Hyukjae knows he’s guessed right. “It was walking past the orphanage yesterday wasn’t it?” 

Donghae doesn’t know what to reply to that, and hastily changes the topic. Hyukjae grins and looks as if he wants to add more, but he complies with Donghae’s wishes in the end, and the conversation moves on to something more mundane.  

The next day, Donghae hears about an anonymous donor who’s pledged an eye-popping sum of money to renovate the city’s orphanage and a smile comes to his face.  

~*~  

It is Temple day when Leeteuk wakes him before the rooster crows. Blinking blearily, Donghae stares at the elder a while before understanding comes from the apologetic look Leeteuk has. 

 

Donghae’s face falls – with all the happiness Hyukjae brought with him, Donghae had let his guard down and forgot about the unpleasant necessities of the floating world. 

“What is it this time?” Donghae asks, his voice shaky with sleep and anxiety.  

“Testing.” Leeteuk swallows at the sudden rise of panic and fear on Donghae’s face and apologizes for something beyond his control. “I’m sorry…” 

Donghae sighs and reaches up to cup his Hyung’s cheek with a soft smile. “You of all people should not apologize.” He pulls the covers off him and reties the sash around his waist so that he is more presentable. Standing up, he gives Leeteuk a reassuring smile even though it should be the other way around. 

Leeteuk looks up with a look of worry in his sole eyes which makes Donghae turn his eyes to the ceiling in exasperation. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. I’m still in my prime after all.” 

“Hae…” Leeteuk frowns in disapproval and Donghae thinks that this is more like his bossy, mother-hen Hyung. 

“I’m the second prince’s favourite remember? I don’t think Mama-san is tired of the prestige yet that she wants to get rid of me.” Donghae says with a flighty smile as he walks out of the room, spewing confidence he does not feel. 

~*~ 

It is no joke, however, the contents of Donghae and Leeteuk’s conversation. Reality is what it is instead – a practice that is economically and practically sound, but harsh and barbaric to those it concerns. 

What it is, is simple a routine – that every month, a Zinnia has to at least take a day job – one different and usually less pleasant than even the activities they did at night. The really lucky ones do modelling or filming of advertisements. Some do menial tasks like gracing a store as a staff for a day, or door-to-door delivery of ‘special’ mail. Most are human subjects to test new things – food, drinks, medical equipment… 

Drugs. 

More than just this, however, is the cold calculation behind this practice. 

On a more innocent side, this is meant to help a failing Zinnia establishment tide over hard times. Day jobs, especially the testing ones, tended to pay well for the services, sometimes even more than the night-time customers.  

They pay even more if the Zinnia who is tested on is seriously injured, or dies in the process. The more prominent the insurance companies backing the test, the better the compensation. 

It is this which the proprietors of the Zinnia establishments take advantage of. If a Zinnia fails to provide for the establishment, or reaches the end of his or her prime and proves to be more of a burden than an asset; then proprietors tend to make use of these day jobs to get one last compensation out of the Zinnia. 

It is rare that a Zinnia subjected to this treatment gets out of it alive. Even rarer than he or she gets out of it unscathed. 

And it is what Leeteuk so disapproved of when Donghae made light of it. Even if Donghae was the Tayuu of the house, even if he was making a record amount for the establishment, even if it was unlikely that Mama-san wished to strike Donghae off, there was still an off-chance that the testing might end up fatal, even if it was something as innocent as testing a new candy. 

“Master  _ Renge _ .” A pleasant enough voice pulls Donghae from distracting himself with the way the light shifts among the nearby shades. And he looks up with a forced smile. The assistant is small and looks harmless enough, yet Donghae’s heart pounds faster. 

He hides his anxiety with a polite smile. “Yes?” 

“This way, if you might.” The assistant gestures towards the testing room and as Donghae complies by walking forward, listening stiffly to the instructions given. “You’ll be given two injections. The first one is filled with stimulated flu virus, and you should feel the ill effects after five minutes. Once that takes effect, we will inject a second which will contain the new cure we are testing.” 

The nod which he gives is a lie – he is not ready for what is to come. However, he can only go in and do as they say. He prays that he will come out alive, kicking and at best, entirely fine.  

He still has yet to skip stones at the lake - Hyukjae has promised to take him the next Market day. 

~*~  

The cure works. Donghae is free of the flu after he takes it. 

However, he is plagued with a fever, vomiting, pain in his stomach and the runs. And he lies, miserable in his bed even with Leeteuk being pulled away from his usual duties to take care of him. 

After the tenth time he has to lean over into the basin to throw up, there is nothing in his stomach but air and acid. His mouth burns, the sour taste refusing to go even as Leeteuk hands him a cup of water to drink. It tastes bland in his mouth.  

“I hate this.” He states after the twentieth time, and Leeteuk can only pat him on the back, handing him that self-same cup of water.  

After the fiftieth time, he drains the cup before he gets up and limps for the toilet. He refuses the ambrosia Leeteuk tries to force on him. And Leeteuk sighs, mistaking the refusal solely for Donghae’s pride, not realizing that there is something more behind it this time. 

Days later, Donghae soon loses count of the times he has leaned over the abused bucket and when that happens, he supposes it could be worse. He could have been paralysed, or mute, or deaf, or dead. He supposes he should be grateful. 

But he isn’t, because this means he has to resign himself to a day without Hyukjae, for there is no way he can recover by tomorrow. 

 ~*~ 

There is a sign that has been put up since Rice Day on the cage which Donghae usually sits in that _Renge_ would not be available until further notice due to unforeseen circumstances. Hyukjae only sees it four days after.   

Yesung yelps when an even bigger sum of money than usual is stuffed into his hand and he stares after his prince who only answers with a curt – “If Donghae isn’t up for bids, it only means that  _ Bara _ will be even more in demand than usual.” 

He takes off, walking into the establishment despite protests, easily silencing them with a gold coin pressed into each restraining hand. Yesung watches and is about to chase when he realizes what his prince said is truth and rushes off to the bidding area for  _ Bara _ instead. 

Watching all this is the silent Kangin, and his face is unreadable as he turns his eyes to a floor above and to a silhouette projected on the rice paper that seems to be looking down at him before it walks quickly away. 

Kangin sighs and hastens into the darkness where imaginary assailants lie in wait for the prince. 

~*~  

It is the next morning, and Donghae opens his eyes to find the biggest surprise of his life looking down at him.  

“Hyuk- urp!” He tries to get up and regrets it, frantically looking around before he spills his guts onto the tatami. Someone shoves the bucket that he has been using in front of him and he thankfully accepts. It is only after he wipes his mouth with his dirty sleeve that he freezes, realizing that there can be only one person who pushed the bucket where it is.  

“W-what…?” He asks in wonder, too ragged to form complete questions. “How…? Why…?” 

Hyukjae raises an eyebrow and turns around to squeeze the cloth in its cold water basin as he answers. “I’m presuming you’re asking: ‘What I’m doing here’, ‘How did I get in here without the proprietor complaining’ and ‘Why am I here’.”  

He doesn’t wait for Donghae’s confirmation before he continues. “Well, let’s start with the hardest – how I got in here. Well, it was rather complicated. First I stormed my way through using the way of the coin, before I was thwarted right outside your door by the proprietor. That was easily dealt with by the way of the note. The hardest to deal with was the man who was looking after you. I had to write a promise in blood that I take proper care of you, and if you died, my life would be forfeit as well.” 

Donghae would have answered, but his stomach acts up again, and he dry-heaves into the bucket, Hyukjae hurriedly rubbing his back as he continues to answer. 

“What I’m doing here is another easily explainable question.” Hyukjae chatters, and Donghae realizes it’s a distraction – although whether for him or the prince is a questionable matter. “You’re sick. I’m taking care of you.” 

Donghae wipes his mouth when he was done, and with a wry grin he continues Hyukjae’s barrage of words. “And why you are here is supposed to be the easiest of all, huh? It’s to make fun of me while you ‘take care’ of me… no?” 

To Donghae’s surprise, Hyukjae’s expression turns serious as he shakes his head. “You take me for meaner than I really am…” 

“Then… why?” for Donghae can see no other reason than that. Hyukjae is kind, but Donghae never thinks that the attraction he has for the prince is anything other than one way. He knows that no man with Hyukjae’s power could have the same self-control that Hyukjae shows unless he is not interested. 

Hyukjae smiles and leans forward, and then Donghae realizes that he doesn’t  _ know _ anything at all. 

The kiss is soft and gentle. Nothing he has received before matches to it. And he realizes that he’s gotten it all wrong – that his world view is as skewed in direction as Hyukjae’s is, only towards the opposite. 

It is pleasurable, but Donghae has the mind to realize that his scale of the world has become more balanced, and that Hyukjae is enough to counter all the pain and suffering he has had in this cruel world of his. He also worries that the bile in his throat might rise and spoil the whole thing. 

Then Hyukjae does something with his tongue, and Donghae realizes that he doesn’t have the capacity to realize anymore. 

Outside, Leeteuk raps three maids on the head, reprimanding them for peeking. But when they run off, he peeks himself and giggles at what he sees. 

Apparently, the prince isn’t as innocent as all of them had initially thought. 

~*~ 


	3. Chapter 3

It is nearly Market Day again. And Donghae waits in anticipation of that day to come. He’s been going through the motions, behaving so that Mama-san won’t be able to threaten him, so that Mama-san will take Hyukjae’s bid, and they can spend those few precious hours together. 

He is ritual in his actions – praise them, butter them up a bit, moan when they want it, scream when they want it. But no one seems to notice Donghae’s distracted demeanour – or at least there were no complaints. But then again, Mama-san has been careful not to allow the same customer to have Donghae two days in a row, and not more than three times – after that, their names would be placed on the black-list, so that they didn’t get too familiar with Donghae’s mannerisms. 

Mama-san is always very shrewd when it came to these sort of things. 

The day comes, and Donghae can barely conceal his excitement. Helping Donghae dress that night, Leeteuk tries to calm him with an amused smile, saying that although Hyukjae has seen Donghae many times, he should still take care not to show up in front of the prince with smudges of make-up everywhere. And he would, Leeteuk promised, the way Donghae is practically vibrating in his seat. 

Mortified at the thought of appearing in front of Hyukjae with less than his best, Donghae forces himself to sit still, allowing Leeteuk to help him put up makeup in peace. 

He sits normally enough in the cage, but his eyes are darting, looking for that crop of fine blond hair amongst the black, and  _ Bara _ casts an amused glance to him, knowing who Donghae is looking out for. 

Then it’s Donghae’s turn to snigger at  _ Bara _ , because his attention is caught by someone in the crowd. And Donghae sees  _ Bara’s _ face fall in disappointment when it doesn’t turn out to be the one the white rose is looking for. 

_ Bara _ gives Donghae a dirty glare as the lotus holds up his sleeve elegantly as if to cough or sneeze, but in truth is hiding a very un-Rengelike grin. 

But slowly, as time passes, the excitement and anticipation that hold the both of them slowly wanes, and worry takes over. Bidding time is nearly over and neither Hyukjae nor Yesung has turned up yet.

Donghae and  _ Bara _ exchange worried looks, and Donghae tries to reassure himself that Hyukjae is just running late. 

But then the bidding closes, and there is still no sign of Hyukjae or Yesung. And Donghae has to content himself with the faith that Hyukjae isn’t here because he can’t be. 

That night Donghae goes to a skinny man, newly rich, who doesn’t know half of what he’s doing. Donghae has to lead and cajole him half the time and the process makes him sick. 

Halfway, pulling his mouth out of the man’s cock, he suddenly realizes that he can’t do this anymore. 

He runs out of the room, pulling on his garments on the way and runs back up to his own. 

He locks himself in, refusing to come out, while Leeteuk and a few others come and bang on his door. This is until Mama-san hears what happen, and in a thunderous mood tells everyone to leave Donghae alone and attend to the spurned customer instead. 

She would deal with Donghae once the time was right. 

~*~ 

Mama-san is threatening to knock down Donghae’s door if his doesn’t come out soon, and he knows she will do it. And he rather likes his door where it was, and thus reluctantly comes out of his room. It doesn’t really make much of a difference except that this way, Donghae could at least retain some of his pride. 

She beckons him to follow her and he does, haughtily. They walk down to the main hall, where a crowd has already gathered – some in worry, some in curiosity, and yet others in anticipation. 

They stop, and Mama-san turns around, eyeing Donghae with a displeased scowl. 

“Hold him.” Mama-san’s voice is almost toneless in her orders, and the people around hesitate for a moment before following, whether they really want to or not. It is no good opposing Mama-san in such a circumstance. 

Donghae manages to shake off the first two, but then a third manages to hit him in the stomach and a fourth takes advantage of his momentary breathlessness to pin him down. More join and soon, Donghae can’t move, held down by a tangle of limbs and heaving bodies. 

“Donghae, Donghae, Donghae. Why do you persist in being difficult?” There’s disappointment in Mama-san’s voice, and it makes the hair on the back of Donghae’s neck crawl. He knows what’s coming up next, and he wonders for a moment why he had come back here instead of running far away. 

Oh right. Because it is of no use anyway… 

“I like your ‘no ambrosia’ policy…” Mama-san sighs as she reaches into her pouch and pulls out the candy-like drug, rolling it between her index and thumb. “But when you’re like this… I have no choice. We can’t have you upsetting the customers after all.” 

Then she pinches Donghae’s nose until he opens his mouth to breath, popping the drug in. She places a hand over Donghae’s mouth and nose, pushing – forcing Donghae to swallow the drug. She signals for the rest not to move, expecting a struggle. 

And struggle Donghae does, but it is only a token struggle – less violent than any of the times before. Somehow, today, he just can’t seem to summon the strength to really try to break free. 

He is held there until he has no choice but to let the ambrosia travel down his throat. Until he stops struggling, and the rebellion in his eyes turns to glazed blankness. It is only then that Mama-san gives the signal for everyone to let go, and Donghae falls bonelessly to the floor and seems entirely happy about it. 

Mama-san tilts Donghae’s head up and looks into those dazed eyes. Donghae smiles widely at her and she pets him, receiving a deep-throated purr in return. 

“…” She stares at him a little longer before she let goes, knowing that Donghae isn’t faking it. The boy is too proud even for such a thing. Curling a finger at one of the maids of the house, she orders her. “Go call Mr Zen. He’ll be pleased to hear that Donghae’s on ambrosia tonight.” 

~*~ 

Hyukjae hums happily as he walks down the street. He has a clear plastic bag filled with fresh water and a beautiful pair of guppies swimming inside – it is a gift for Donghae. An apology gift for not having been able to make their appointment yesterday. 

There has been some trouble with the embassy from Xing, and Siwon had sent Hyukjae to deal with it, since the crown prince himself was busy entertaining those blasted westerners. 

Hyukjae usually wouldn’t have minded since Siwon rarely dumped such work on him, but this time, he only agreed on the compromise that he could take his usual leave for the next day. And Siwon had allowed it, which is why Hyukjae is now scripting in his mind how to give the guppies to Donghae. 

From behind someone taps him, and Hyukjae turns to see a panting Yesung glaring at him. “Yah! I know you’re excited, but there’s no need to make your poor guards chase you… I wanted to buy something for Ryeowook too…” 

“Ryeowook?” Hyukjae blinks, the name is unfamiliar to him. 

“Ah…  _ Bara _ ... Ryeowook is his real name.” Yesung explains and Hyukjae blinks. 

“Ah.” Hyukjae lets out a noise of understanding and is amused by Yesung’s slow transition into a tomato. “The white rose… Ryeowook, huh? I see…” 

Hyukjae chuckles when Yesung turns into a beet root and bursts out. Being the blabbermouth that he is, Yesung begins pouring out every single thing he did with Ryeowook since the first time he met him. Every thing from taking the boy out for movies, playing videogames in an arcade together, sneaking Ryeowook out of the floating world one of the time, and of their first kiss. 

It’s more interesting than most things go, but Hyukjae isn’t really paying attention. He’s too busy staring at the guppies he’s bought, imagining the smile on Donghae’s face when he sees them. Donghae would like them – he was sure. And Hyukjae would tease this liking based on the affinity of sea creatures with his name. 

“It was really awkward after that, and the next meeting we kind of just sat around, and I made an ass of myself talking about things that didn’t make sense, but then everything was alright again after we went to the park, we chased squirrels – well I did. Ryeowook just sat there and the- What in the world?” 

Hyukjae blinks, registering the last few words, and he stops when he realized Yesung has. “Yesung? What’s wr-” 

And then, his eyes following Yesung’s line of sight, he too sees what’s wrong. 

“D-Donghae…?” the name slips from Hyukjae’s mouth as he staggers forward for a better look. The person sitting where Donghae usually does looks like him, but he certainly doesn’t act like him. 

For one, Donghae usually sits ram-rod straight during bidding time – this Donghae slouches and half-lies on the floor, head lolling seductively. Donghae usually keeps quiet – this Donghae calls out to the crowd that is gathered in front of him, urging them closer. Donghae usually is alert and awake, his eyes bright and intelligent – this Donghae’s eyes arehalf-lidded and glazed. 

It is obvious that this Donghae has taken ambrosia… but then this wouldn’t make him Donghae, right? 

A part of him hopes that that is not Donghae, but someone who just looks similar. And for a moment, his mind believes it, urged on by his heart. Donghae had told him that he’d never take ambrosia out of his own choice… right? 

“Oh, my… aren’t you that customer who keeps coming back for Master  _ Renge _ ?” a female voice drags Hyukjae out of his thoughts, and he forces his eyes away from the appalling behaviour that the Donghae who isn’t Donghae is displaying. “Don’t you usually come on Market day? Oh dear… Master  _ Renge _ didn’t know you were coming today, did he?” 

“What?” He asks, turning to the girl who has spoken. It is a maid of the establishment – Hyukjae has seen her before. Jessica? He thinks? She introduced herself to him one time he was waiting for Donghae… 

“Well, I mean, if he had known you were coming today, Master  _ Renge _ wouldn’t have taken the ambrosia like he does the days he knows you’re coming.” Jessica lets the implication of her words sink in before she continues. “…Oops. I’ve said too much haven’t I?” 

Hyukjae ignores the rest of her apologies, his eyes narrowing as he watches Donghae flirt shamelessly with the crowd. He doesn’t know what to think now, and his hand clutches at the bag which contains the fish. 

Yesung opens his mouth, concerned, but his words are halted by a raised hand, and the feeling that if he does say something, his head would end up somewhere high and stuck on a pike. 

Hyukjae doesn’t do anything except watch for the next few moments. 

He watches as the bid ends, and Donghae claps frivolously as if congratulating however who won. He watches a rich and smart looking gentleman with salt and pepper hair goes up to the cage and the Mama-san unlocks it. He watches as Donghae is pulled up and led away. 

He watches as Donghae snuggles into the gentleman’s hold even as muscled bodyguards clear the way, shouting for people to let ‘Mr Zen’ get through. 

There is a splash as the bag Hyukjae is holding falls to the ground. And startled, Yesung takes a while to react when Hyukjae starts off after them. He is about to go after his prince, but then he hears a call for the last bids on  _ Bara _ and he freezes, torn between his love and his duty. 

A hand pushes him towards the cages and he yelps, turning around with saucer eyes when he sees that it is Kangin. 

“Go.” The other guard says quietly. “I’ll take care of the prince. Go and get your love.” 

Yesung bits his lip before he nods and crashes through the crowd, calling to make a bid. Kangin, good to his word, starts off in the direction Hyukjae went in a run. He’s lost sight of the prince, but that is of little consequence. He has to find Hyukjae no matter what. 

Forgotten, the two guppies flounder on the floor, gasping as they are slowly strangled by air. 

~*~ 

“I’ve never seen a Zinnia this high on ambrosia before.” One of Mr Zen’s bodyguards comments as they lead Donghae down one of the posher, less crowded streets in the floating world. 

“Yes, most Zinnia take the ambrosia so much, that after a while, their body builds up a resistance.” Mr Zen smiles, running a loving hand on Donghae’s cheek and receiving a happy mewl in return. “But Renge so rarely takes it, he doesn’t have that resistance… and so when he does, its effect is just marvellous on him.” 

Donghae stumbles over a stone on the ground, but smiles happily, clinging on to the fabric of Mr Zen’s jacket. Behind a wall, Hyukjae’s hands tighten further in their fists – the Donghae he knows would have never done such a thing. Something doesn’t add up in Hyukjae’s head, but righteous anger curls up in his stomach and stops his brain from being logical. 

“Why’d he take it today then?” another guard asks the question which is in Hyukjae’s mind. 

“He didn’t.” Mr Zen replies to the confusion of everyone listening. “The Mama-san of the establishment probably forced him to… This boy’s a feisty little thing normally, but too feisty isn’t good in this trade. He probably threw a tantrum or something, so when that happens, it’s ambrosia time… and I always come happily when the Mama-san informs me of it.” 

The righteous anger is strangled by the sudden lack of its fuel, and horror curls up in its place. Now he knows what is wrong – the girl had told him that Donghae took the ambrosia every day he wasn’t there. Mr Zen however, said that Donghae rarely took it. He remembers now, a time when he asked Donghae about the unhappy stares the Zinnia got sometimes as they walked through the hallways of the establishment. Donghae just smiles and shrugs it off, but Hyukjae realizes it is the jealousy borne of seeing rich silks and jewellery without knowing the price paid to wear them. 

“See…” Mr Zen pulls a round ball of happy-coloured drug from Donghae’s pouch and pops it into the Zinnia’s innocent mouth. “Even when he’s like this, he doesn’t take the ambrosia himself… you always have to feed it to him. He isn’t used to taking it himself, I think, so he doesn’t when he’s in this state.” 

“Are you sure you should be giving him that much?” A bodyguard questions – a female one, which explains the snorts and derogatory comments which ensure after the question. “He can barely walk.” 

But Mr Zen answers, smiling at the woman in a way which suggests that she wasn’t  _ just _ a bodyguard. “Oh… yes…” the hand around Donghae’s waist tightens cruelly, but Donghae only gives Mr Zen a small whine before he goes back to contentedly sucking on the ambrosia. “I find it highly arousing when Renge begs for more of it in the bedroom… but in order to get to that scenario, I’ve found that the best way is to feed him as much as possible first.” 

Hyukjae feels so stupid, and a cold anger wells up inside him. And before he knows it, he’s behind Mr Zen, pulling the man around and punching his face in. The bodyguards stare, absolutely stunned at the way Mr Zen is clutching at his nose and howling in bloody murder. 

He grabs Donghae and runs before the bodyguards can react. By the time they do, he’s already long gone. 

Donghae is light in his hands – too light. And Hyukjae can only hold him tight, muttering “I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” over and over again to a man who can only grin at him foolishly. 

Kangin finds him on the way to the palace. The guard takes one look at his prince and shuts up, instead asking if Hyukjae needs help to carry Donghae. Hyukjae shakes his head and they continue to the palace in silence. 

He brings Donghae to his room, ignoring the wide-eyed stares of the palace staff and the occasional noble. But any questions are halted by the menacing stare of his guard, which promises regret if the questions were ever aired. 

When the door closes behind the prince, the whole palace shrugs. This is the only second prince after all, not the crown prince. And Hyukjae has been notorious for doing unprincely acts.

They all act unsurprised and pretend that they had expected such a thing all along. 

~*~ 

Later, Hyukjae can only hold Donghae tight in his arms when the withdrawal comes and Donghae screams and shakes, begging for Hyukjae to take pity on him and feed him the drug. 

“Please… please….” Donghae screams in a broken voice, fingers digging into the fabric of Hyukjae’s shirt. “Give it to me. The candy… please… just one piece! It won’t hurt!” 

It takes all of Hyukjae’s rationality and all of his willpower not to. And he bit down on his lip when Donghae eyes turn frantic and wet. “Please! It hurts… it hurts… It hurts so much!” 

And Hyukjae wraps tight arms around him and apologizes again. 

He doesn’t let go, even after the pleas stop, and Donghae falls into unconsciousness in Hyukjae’s arms. 

~*~ 

The next morning, Donghae wakes with a pounding headache and finds that he cannot move. 

He has no idea of where he was, and what he had been doing the night before – which is worrying. But not as worrying as the fact that there is a pair of arms wound tightly around him and his face is pushed into a man’s chest until he can barely breathe. He shifts, trying to pull away so that he can, and almost immediately, he is let go. Dazed, he looks up and can only stare. 

“…Hyukjae…?” His eyes widen as he blinks at the prince. And Donghae’s mind fails to come up with a rational explanation as to why he is here. “W-what? You… Last night…?” 

Hyukjae’s eyes harden a little, and his expression turns a little grim, and Donghae knows that Hyukjae had seen everything. 

“I-I can explain.” Donghae tries to speak, but is stopped by a gentle finger to his lips. 

“There is nothing to explain, Donghae.” Hyukjae smiles reassuringly. “I know that you were forced to take the ambrosia. Everything that happened was my fault. I would have called two nights ago when I couldn’t come, but the palace is strict about things like that. They’re paranoid the press will trace the calls and have ammunition against the royal family, but I still should have at least sent a messenger.” 

Donghae looks up in wonder as Hyukjae comes up with excuses, and Donghae wonders why. You only need to do so when you’re in the wrong, and Hyukjae definitely isn’t in Donghae’s eyes. 

He lifts up a hand and traces the bags that are apparent under Hyukjae’s eyes. “How bad were they… my withdrawal symptoms? So bad that they kept you awake all night?” 

Hyukjae shakes his head and smiles a smile that warms away the fears that had gathered in Donghae’s heart since the night before. “No… I was just worried.” 

“Then it’s still my fault.” Donghae reasons, unsure why he is arguing about this. “I made you worried.” 

“Hae…” Hyukjae says gently, taking Donghae’s hands in his. “I  _ want _ to worry about you. And it’s not your fault – I broke a promise that I made with you… I’m sorry.” 

Donghae admits that Hyukjae has a point, but his stubborn mouth opens again before he can even stop it. “But-” 

Then Hyukjae presses a warm mouth to his and Donghae can barely remember his name, let alone the irrational arguments behind whose fault this whole wonderful thing is. 

~*~ 

That evening, Leeteuk ushers in Yesung, who hands over an insane amount of money to Mama-san in exchange for Donghae. 

“The second prince is buying Donghae for his uses… until the near foreseeable future.” Yesung belays. “If this money is not enough, then you may request for more. However, do bear in mind that the request will be reviewed by an exchequer of the treasurer before we decide if to allow that much more money.” 

He leaves a stunned Mama-san behind, staring at the cheque she holds in her hand, and quickly sneaks upstairs to see Ryeowook. Leeteuk sees it and doesn’t interfere. He doubts that they will be open for business tonight anyway. 

And everything… is good. 

~*~


	4. Chapter 4

“And this… is a chair.” 

“Yes, I believe it is so…” 

Eyeing the look of sarcasm he was given, Hyukjae shrugs and excuses himself. “They say that things in the palace aren’t what they seem.” 

“I believe that saying is reserved for palace politics, not the furniture.” 

Hyukjae pouts and Donghae shakes his head. He knows the prince is only trying to ease the Zinnia’s integration into the palace, and for most part, Donghae is glad for it. The palace is a stiff, cold place that looks down on people not of their own, but there  _ is _ only so much silliness one can take within five minutes. 

“Alright, alright.” Hyukjae raises his hands in surrender before he holds them out for Donghae to hold. “Come. One last place before we go back to my room for the night.” 

“Don’t expect anything there when we get back, I’m too exhausted.” Donghae sighs before he notices the strange look Hyukjae is giving him. He blushes as he demands. “What?!” But only receives a shake of the head and a long-suffering sigh as if Hyukjae doesn’t enjoy their nightly activities, perhaps even more than Donghae does. 

Donghae is about to comment on it when he realizes that he’s in an area of the palace he’s never been before. “Where are we?” He asks, half convinced that Hyukjae has lost his way in his own home. Again. 

“Hey. The palace is big!” Hyukjae says in his defence, understanding the look Donghae tosses at him. “I  _ know _ exactly where we’re going!” 

“Oh really?” Donghae smiles. Through these days, he discovers that most of Hyukjae’s daytime manliness lies in his inability to handle embarrassment. Bedtime of course, is a separate matter altogether. 

“Yes. Really.” Hyukjae sighs as he continues to lead Donghae the steadily darkening corridor. There are no servants here, and if not for the immaculate appearance of the place, Donghae would have thought this area untouched by humans. It gives off that sort of feeling. 

Hyukjae puts a finger on his lips as Donghae is about to question him again. And wordlessly, Hyukjae steps aside, gesturing at a quiet doorway that speaks of age. 

Donghae walks through the doorway with not just a little apprehension, but all that he leaves in the doorway as he steps out into a sight that he’s never seen before. 

It’s one of the typical gardens of the palace, the ones that Donghae has been seeing throughout the day as he walked around the immaculate hallways – and this one is no different except for the obvious lack of care. The magnolia are free from their stuffy arrangements, the edelweiss, although scattered, are growing strong, the hydrangea are aloof yet with a crop of jasmine tangling in their midst, and somewhere, a single yellow chrysanthemum leans towards a pond in which a lonely lotus floats. 

But what catches Donghae’s eye is not the beautiful wildness of this garden, but instead the appearance of tiny lights flickering through the darkness of the trees, dancing and twinkling like the many stars of the sky. 

He turns to Hyukjae, who is leaning against a nearby pillar, watching not the mesmerizing scene of earthbound stars but instead enjoys the rapt, wide-eyed look of the one he loves. “…Fireflies?” 

Hyukjae nods in absolute silence, leaving Donghae to turn his eyes back to the scene. He can only gasp in amazement of the beauty that simple bugs in darkness can bring. The man watches, stock still as if movement would scare these mysterious bugs of light away, watching until his eyes glaze over because he forgets to blink. 

Donghae doesn’t know how long he watches their dance, only that when his mind finally blanks out, Hyukjae is there to catch him. The prince hugs the Zinnia, who whispers wordless thanks into his ear as he lifts Donghae and cradles the man with a lover’s touch, carrying the lotus to his room. 

Hyukjae creeps out, sliding the rice-papered doors close after laying Donghae down onto the bed. Yesung is outside waiting for him impatiently and leads the prince down the corridor, where a group of people dressed entirely in black are packing up sticks of light that are still glowing on their ends. 

“You have my sincere thanks.” Hyukjae bows to them as he hands an envelope full of money to their leader. “And I added an extra tip for working so fast to get this done.” 

Watching, Yesung leans in and whispers a question to the prince while the workers grow happy at the extra bonus and hum as they clear up. “My prince… why did you arrange for this?” 

Hyukjae smiles and runs a hair in his head. He knows the reason will make Yesung think he is silly, but he answers the guard anyway. “Because of a rumor somewhere that the palace had a garden filled with mysterious bugs of light called fireflies that come out only at night. Donghae heard about it and was so eager about seeing them that I just couldn’t refuse.” 

“But…” Yesung looks confused, “Aren’t fireflies entirely extinct now?” 

Hyukjae smiles and shrugs. “Donghae’s favourite movies are old foreign romance films.” 

It is then that Yesung understands, and he ponders upon the thoughts of how something that was once considered cliché can become special with absence. 

~*~ 

Donghae is in the palace for two weeks now, and word of him naturally gets out. It amuses him to no end when the court hears, and suddenly, the Lords are introducing their  _ sons _ to Hyukjae rather than their daughters. 

That is until he realizes that some of these sons are even prettier than he is. And that for all Hyukjae’s actions, he has never once told Donghae those three words that are so important they have become thought as overused through the years. 

After a minister of some board introduces a man he swears is his son, not his daughter, Donghae practically squeezes the arm that Hyukjae offered to him when they first stepped out of the prince’s bedroom. Hyukjae blinks and turns to meet Donghae’s pouted lips and shining eyes and feels like his heart is suddenly seized by a level of cuteness not before reached by mankind. 

“Uh…” Hyukjae’s forgotten words, and only a sound that he hopes portray his confusion is all that he is able to get out. Donghae, however, knowing his every action and their assigned meaning by heart, give his explanation in the form of a question. 

“I’m not just some… pretty man that caught your fancy, am I?” The shining eyes betray their sadness and insecurity. “Just some interesting toy that you’ll discard after you’ve had your fun and fill of me?” 

Hyukjae’s jaw drops at how Donghae can even think such a thing. His face turns dark with indignation and he detaches his arm and grabs the Zinnia in a hug so fierce, it catches even Donghae by surprise. 

“Don’t ever say that.” He demands, the arms around Donghae gentle yet strong. “Don’t you  _ ever _ say that.” 

Donghae can feel the tremor in Hyukjae’s arms, and he knows that this is Hyukjae’s way of saying ‘I love you… really’. 

Closing his eyes, Donghae leans into the embrace and whispers back. “I love you too.” 

~*~ 

It is three weeks now, and Donghae sees less and less of Hyukjae. It is not because problems on their end, but rather an unfortunate turn of external circumstance. Chousen’s relationship with Xing has degraded far beyond the expectations of ministers on either side. Trade suffers and arguments over things that were once silly erupt. And Hyukjae has no choice but to see to them, the problem of the westerners keeping the crown prince’s hands full and their father, the king, is in no state to do anything – as Donghae had found out. He is far too ill. 

He feels lonely in the palace – the staff treat him like an object of gossip, the guards like a fragile vase and the nobles like an oddity. It’s as if becoming the second prince’s unofficial consort has made him deaf and dumb and thus unable to hear the sometimes hurtful or careless comments they make about him. 

But he’s been through worse, and Donghae contents himself instead with making sure Hyukjae comes back to a tolerably warm meal, a tub of clean water, a fresh change of clothes, and a smile and hug. 

Sometimes he manages to stay awake before Hyukjae comes back, sometimes he doesn’t. He never sees Hyukjae in the morning, the closest he’s come to it is watching the end of a forest green sleeve disappear behind a closing door. 

Donghae tries to tell himself that he’s fine with this. That he didn’t stare at the window all afternoon, haunted by thoughts as dark as the shadows cast by the noon sun. That his heart doesn’t clench with disappointment every time he woke to a cold, empty spot next to him. That his mind hasn’t entertained thoughts that Hyukjae isn’t going off for urgent meetings with Xing, but urgent meetings of a more pleasurable kind. 

Then, one day, while everything is as per usual, and Donghae wakes up to change and clothe himself alone; he walks up to the table and sees a bowl of guppies and a note. 

He knows what it is and who it is from. It’s an apology, and it’s supposed to comfort him and soften his heart. On the note are even the three words Hyukjae never says out loud. 

It doesn’t work. Donghae’s shaky hands place the note back down. It’s like a dam breaking and tears find their way to his eyes, overflowing them and the first of them leaving wet noises on the cherry wood of the table. 

But Donghae does not have time to cry, for at that moment, the doors slid open and he turns around in shock. He’s ready to scream at the maid who comes in without his permission but the words die in his throat when he catches the glint of gold and realizes that this person is anything but a maid. 

He stands tall – both in stature and pride. His robes flow in sharp, defined lines and are embroidered with gold dragons with ruby eyes. Donghae has never seen him before, not once in his life, but as he stares at the man, he knows with a cold certainty  _ who _ this is. 

The man carries a single sword – one of the only two men in the country who can. A single sword – a single country. The hilt is black and gold, tied with a sageo knot and on its sheath, a carved field of the imperial chrysanthemum. 

Donghae falls to the ground, his head touching the floor, body prostrate. 

He is in the presence of the crown prince of Chousen. 

~*~ 

Donghae is so nervous that his hand shakes when he pours the tea from delicate teapot to delicate teacup. He picks the small structure of porcelain and places it in front of the prince, trying to ignore the small glistening lumps of water that lie on the table where the tea had splattered. 

The crown prince eyes the Zinnia as he sips the tea. There is no indication of whether he finds it pleasing or not before he places the cup back down. 

No indication except for the fact that the level of tea in the cup is barely an inch below its original depth. 

Finally, after silence that seems to stretch for eons, the crown prince begins to speak and Donghae isn’t surprised that he has a deep voice to match with his stature. “Master  _ Renge _ , I presume?” 

The sun outside is unforgiving, and yet Donghae feels cold. He has to refrain from pinching his mouth – it feels numb and he wonders if it’s gotten frostbite from the cold way the crown prince stares at him. 

Then he realizes he has yet to reply, and quickly bowing, he hopes that the lull in conversation would not be taken as rudeness and is not something punishable by death. “Yes, your highness.” 

“Hmm…” The crown prince’s eyes are brown – a darker shade of brown than Hyukjae’s and bigger. He is supposed to be the splitting image of his father in youth, while Hyukjae is said to take after his birth mother. If Donghae hadn’t known the relationship before hand, he’d never had guessed the two are bound by blood. “News reached me that you are the one Hyukjae has chosen to share his bed?” 

Any moisture in his throat freezes, and if he were not already frozen stiff, Donghae thinks he’d have problably run from the room screaming in blue murder. He stares at the crown prince with a gaping mouth and surprise-widened eyes. 

Apparently, his expression is answer enough to the prince, who continues, getting up with the grace that reminds Donghae of a heron – a bird of prey. “I see. Then, do know that if you persist in continuing with your relationship, there will be…  _ opposition _ .” 

The crown prince’s words are careful and polite, but to Donghae it’s almost as if he’s punched the Zinnia in the gut and screamed disapproval at him.

“I hope you’ll be careful.” Donghae doesn’t know why, but in his vision, Siwon suddenly has blood-red eyes and horns growing out of his head. He knows a threat when he sees one, and its worse when he’s David and standing before a Goliath he cannot beat. “People in the palace can be very…  _ vicious _ at times.” 

Donghae swallows and mutters what he hopes is “Thank you for your concern, your highness.”, and not something like “Eek!” which he thinks is less appropriate, but closer to what he really feels. 

When the crown prince leaves, Donghae doesn’t actually see him slid the door open and step, his eyes safely cast onto the ground. He can, however, feel a distinct lack of oppression when he does, and Donghae wonders for a moment when the table had gotten so tall before he realizes it is he who has fallen to his knees. 

Somewhere, a raven sings and an ill wind snakes through the palace, rustling through the petals of the red spider lilies. 

~*~ 

Hyukjae returns back to his room, tired and hungry. He expects to see a light shining like a beacon to the lost, the smells of a well-cooked meal, and at least the comforting presence of the one he loves – be he lucid or not. With time, he had come to expect these things and had not even entertained the thoughts of how he would feel when they were suddenly absent. 

Incomprehension. Blankness… then shock. Perhaps. It is hard to pin down an expression to describe the heart when it is confronted with the unknown. 

‘Heart in mouth’, ‘Heart dropping ___ meters into the earth’, ‘Heart stopping’, ‘Heart sinking’, ‘Heart dropping into the pits of despair’ – they are the closest attempts of poets and writers and those who have bothered trying, but none would be sufficient in expounding the unusual palpitations of the second prince’s heart. 

At first, his mind spins with worry as adrenaline fills his veins. “Donghae?!” He cries as he rushes into the dark room, thinking that his lover might have been assassinated by a jealous suitor, or perhaps kidnapped by the vindictive ministers of Xing of whom Hyukjae has an unhealthy level of disrespect for, save the Ambassador himself. 

He is about to call for Yesung to conduct a mass search when his eyes land on a dull glint of moonlight of metal. There, lying on the table, is a hairpin in the whimsical shape of sapphire twists and underneath it what seems like a rumpled piece of paper. 

The hairpin is one of his first few gifts to Donghae. They had been in the marketplace when Hyukjae caught the Zinnia staring at it. A few coins were exchanged and it was promptly placed in the Zinnia’s hair. It is a cheap trinket, and Hyukjae had given Donghae many more expensive gifts since then, but now that the second prince recalls, he rarely saw Donghae without it thereafter. 

Hyukjae picks the pin up, twisting it in the light. Then, with unsure hands, he picks the paper up as well, noting first the way it seems to have been torn from a larger piece. He observes the runny ink and stains of water before his eyes manage to focus on the words. 

The message is only two simple phrases. He reads it once. Then twice. Then a third time before he comes to the realization that the stains were of water that came not from a tap, but of a pair of eyes. 

Donghae’s eyes.

Hyukjae is out of the room like the hounds of hell are chasing him. The piece of paper slowly floats to the floor, then by some wind that became from either a freak accident or fate, it flies out of the window and into the waiting claws of an owl. 

The fowl flies along with the running prince like a shadow, the moon casting fey light on the paper fluttering in its clutches, illuminating the two haunting phrases as they chased Hyukjae away from possible regret. 

‘Thank you… 

…Goodbye.’ 

~*~ 

Donghae falls to the floor hard, clutching his face where the hard hand had connected with. There is a cry of dismay that he knows comes from Leeteuk, but he doesn’t warm up to it. Instead, he agrees with the angry rants that pour out of Mama-san’s mouth. He doesn’t blame her for being angry – he would be too if he were in the same position. 

He doesn’t move from the floor even as Mama-san rants about money – the money Hyukjae paid for Donghae and how half of it already had been used to fix up the establishment and buy a couple of new kimono; how Donghae will never even be able to dream of making up for it, how Donghae is more trouble than he is worth. 

Leeteuk half expects Donghae to rise up like a thunderous wind and engage Mama-san in a verbal battle like the Donghae he knows would; but Donghae doesn’t. Instead, when he does rise, it is only to bow apologetically and promise that he will spend his whole life repaying that money – in any way possible. 

There is silence, and Leeteuk realizes with a start that Mama-san is just as stunned as he is at the statement. “A-alright…” she stutters, and there is some warmth in his heart towards her when he realizes that she is just as bothered about how subservient Donghae is being. 

That warmth, however, disappears immediately at her next sentence. “Then, you will have no problem taking up this irritating customer we’ve been having... Right,  _ Renge _ ?” 

Leeteuk stiffens. He knows which customer Mama-san is talking about – the one that has dubious sources of money, the one who Leeteuk has seen once and shivers at – lewd grin, nervous habit of biting nails and all, the one who keeps coming back, no matter how many times he’s been turned away – the one who states that his purpose of hiring a Zinnia is to give him or her pleasure through pain. 

He gives Donghae a warning eye and is stunned when Donghae ignores it. He knows that Donghae is doing it on purpose because their eyes met and Leeteuk could practically see the personification of defeat laughing in Donghae’s brown depths. 

“No, Mama-san.” Donghae answers quietly to a shocked silence. “There’s no problem at all.” 

That night, the entire establishment watches in a range of fear and worry as the infamous customer steps into the room with an unsavoury grin on his face. Even those who are envious of Donghae’s position feel sorry for him as he steps up to the customer’s side and walks out with him. The customer, as he so delicately put it, prefers to take Donghae back to the comfort of his home where they could enjoy themselves better. 

And where he wouldn’t have to pay more if he accidentally thrashed the room in his frenzy. 

Watching from the second floor, Jessica feels a thrill of revulsion as she watches the man feel up Donghae’s butt. And for the first time, she thinks that, perhaps, she is grateful that she is not a Zinnia – 

That, perhaps, that the silks and the jewels are not enough for her to become a mute doll to be bought and sold. 

~*~ 

“Siwon.” Hyukjae flings open the door to the room with a look of confidence on his face that if it were there more often, Siwon might have needed to consider assassination to protect his throne. 

“If this is about the Zinnia leaving,” The crown prince doesn’t look up, choosing instead to direct his apparently full attention to the document he was drafting. He dips the black-stained tip into the block of black ink. “You know that I had nothing to do with it.” 

“Really?” Hyukjae’s face is a dark as the black side of a thunder cloud, and he stands over Siwon, towering over him. The action is calculated – giving Hyukjae the psychological edge over his imperial brother, as well as forcing Siwon to stop writing, the dark shadow he cast over the paper making it almost impossible. 

A smile curls over the crown prince’s lips, and Siwon looks up into the confidence and cold anger in his younger brother’s face. He idly thinks that if that expression is daily occurrence, then he probably wouldn’t have stayed crown prince for long. As it is, he only gestures at the floor pillows nearby, seemingly unaffected by the obvious aura of challenge around Hyukjae. “Sit.” 

Hyukjae turns and stares at the spot that Siwon has directed him to, and he plays with the idea of refusing. But already, he has broken a thousand of rules and etiquette by barging in the way he did. 

And unfortunately, Hyukjae likes his head where it is. 

Siwon waits for Hyukjae to get into a comfortable position – or at least as comfortable as one can get sitting seiza, before he speaks. “I truly do not have anything to do with the leave of the Zinnia. I only talked to him.” 

“I know.” Hyukjae’s visage of anger does not diminish, and Siwon finds it rather inspiring. Hyukjae takes Siwon’s expression for surprise and continues. “The walls have ears… and they grow mouths as well when shown coin.” 

“Then I’m surprised that you come storming in here.” Siwon lays his brush down on the mahogany table which is a gift from the westerners. “You should have heard that I only told the Zinnia that if he were to continue his relationship with you and would meet with opposition, I would not come and intervene. Nothing else.” 

Most people would only see the threat in Siwon’s words, however, Hyukjae knows his brother, and knows that this is Siwon’s form of care. It is hard to grow up kind in the stiff formalities of the palace, and Siwon had been by their father’s side learning hard lessons. He didn’t have the luxury of learning kindness from his mother as Hyukjae had from his. 

He can see why Donghae took Siwon’s words badly, however, and is about to explain when an expected voice sounds, doing just that. 

“The Zinnia are sensitive people, your highness. Flowers that are easily bent and broken from the wind. Not like us, men of steel, who can withstand the harshest blows.” Hyukjae turns in surprise as the door slides open and it reveals Kangin kneeling by the entrance. “It is no surprise that Master  _ Renge _ took your concern as a warning… a threat.” 

To Hyukjae’s surprise, Siwon hums in thought rather than throwing Kangin out as palace protocol would have allowed him to. “Is that so…” 

“Yes, your highness.” Kangin bows before giving Hyukjae a pointed look, and he stiffens, suddenly feeling cold. “And I have some news that is heavy to bear… It’s about Master  _ Renge _ .” 

And Hyukjae suddenly knows – he can tell from the feeling that grasps his spine, the cold sweat that beads on his forehead, the sudden grip on his heart.

He knows that Donghae is in trouble. 

Not even bothering to have a façade of protocol, Hyukjae rushes out of the room, his two swords nearly whacking Kangin at the side of the head, and would have if the guard had not ducked. He shouts for Yesung, waking half the palace while he is at it. And Kangin is surprised by Siwon’s wry grin. 

“I thought you didn’t approve.” He says in a tone too familiar for communication between guard and prince, yet Siwon doesn’t seem fazed, even smiling at the address. 

“I don’t.” Siwon sighs, picking up his brush again but writes not on the paper, instead eyeing Kangin with a sigh of resignation. “Why? Expecting me to go after them with an Imperial mandate and forbid them to see each other under the reason of same-sex relationships being against God?” 

Kangin shakes his head with an expression that suggests thoughts contrary to the action. 

Siwon sighs, abandoning any thoughts of finishing the document today, and he shakes his head at the presumption. “I never championed myself as a crusader of God. I merely am his mouthpiece and follower. Whatever Hyukjae decides, that is between him and God. I can only advise, which is the extent of what I have done. Now, I will only sit as an observer and if God directs me, pick up the broken pieces.” 

Kangin doesn’t comment on the implication that Siwon doesn’t expect their relationship to last. He shakes his head instead and comments. “You are a strange man, my prince.” 

Siwon only smiles, and after a while, emerging from deep thought, “The news about  _ Renge _ … You got it from  _ Shirayuri _ didn’t you?” 

Kangin is almost tempted to fall prostrate, fearing the unusual amount of teasing expression in the crown prince’s eyes. He doesn’t know how to reply, and instead says. “He’s not called that anymore.” 

“Ah… yes… He’s retired, no? So… Leeteuk was it?” Siwon chuckles before a thoughtful expression settles. “Something about an accident when testing new medical equipment. His back still gives him problems if I heard right.” 

Kangin silence confirms Siwon’s statement, and he eyes the guard, resting his chin on his palm. “You still regret not being there for him don’t you?” 

“…” A sad smile graces Kangin’s face. There is silence, and Siwon is about to return his attention to the document, thinking the conversation is over when Kangin proves that it is not. “I’ve been thinking of visiting though… at least to apologize.” 

Siwon sighs, putting the brush down and turning his eyes to the heavens above. “Lord, save me from the temptation that surrounds me.” 

The plea is odd, as if there is something which prompts it, and Kangin smiles, knowing what it is. “Our Court Advisor trying to advise you into visiting his room at ungodly hours of the night again?” 

“That man…” Siwon answers with the petulance of a king. “Does not seem to get that I am not interested, status and scandals aside, no matter how pretty he is in a dress.” 

“But I thought Heechul had already moved onto greener pastures?” Kangin scratches his chin. 

“He says that I’ll always be a green pasture.” A pause as Kangin eyes him with incredulously before he relents. “And the trouble with Xing has escalated to a point of no return.” 

“Ah… and the Xing ambassador?” 

“Is in his room now, packing.” 

“Ah. Well, then I guess you won’t have to be worried about unwanted visitors tonight.” And Kangin ducks the inkpot thrown at him, and looking at the rare blush on Siwon’s face, knows that they both are thinking about a night past where Heechul had snuck into Siwon’s room and nearly got himself personally beheaded, but not before physically tempting the crown prince with his hands and body. 

Siwon settles back down royally from throwing the inkpot before he sighs and admits. “Obnoxious comments aside, I do miss having you at my side, Kangin.” 

Kangin bows at the compliment as he replies. “You  _ were _ the one who sent me to look after your brother.” 

“Well, I think we both agree that my brother doesn’t need looking after anymore.” Siwon smiles as he picks up his brush once again. “So, will you come back to my side, my Secretary of Archives?” 

And Kangin can only bow in acceptance at the request which is also an order. 

~*~ 

He’s been thrown against the wall so many times that he lost count. And for all his bluster on the way to his place, this customer certainly doesn’t have the creativity some other clients did. 

It still hurt. 

Lying on the floor, his head still pounding from the last two times its made acquaintance with the hard brick, he gasps when the client pulled him up by his hair, thick, fat fingers digging painfully into their roots. 

“Come on, what’s wrong? I want to hear you scream! Scream for me, Renge!” The man screams out his stage name, and it unknowingly brings tears to his eyes. 

Renge – the lotus. The flower far from the one he loves.

Then the man flings him against the wall, and this time he screams. He doesn’t care anymore. His heart is hurting too much to be proud. 

“Yes… yes!” The client laughs like a villain from a badly scripted play, and his eyes gleam manic as his shadow towers over the softly sobbing Donghae, unknowing that the tears were not brought on by something physical. “Oh… so just something like this makes you cry? Then you have not seen my worst!” 

There is a crack as the man grabs his arm and twists it, and Donghae turns white, his throat squeezing out a shriek that is higher in pitch than anything that has ever come out of his mouth before. 

_ ‘This man is mad.’ _ Donghae thinks dully as he’s thrown at the wall yet again, landing on his now broken hand, twisted in an impossible, grotesque angle. And somewhere he hears a scream and thinks it’s probably him.  _ ‘And I’m mad to think I’d prefer his madness than the one that results from my broken heart.’ _

There is a knife now, and Donghae doesn’t know when or where it had been taken out. He hasn’t been paying attention – affliction after affliction melding together like runny clay. 

His clothes are getting torn, the knife slowly turning red from the blood it draws. Again and again, it flashes in the dull light with Donghae screaming every time its business edge runs over his skin. 

The client is extremely satisfied, and getting more frenzied, he slowly loses his mind. 

It is a full moon out – the moon of the crazed. And Donghae thinks his eyes fly open just as wide when he suddenly finds the knife stuck in his stomach, and he falls to the ground in shock, the scream in his throat sticking, forced down by the sudden lack of breath. 

The silence in the room is deafening. And in that silence, Donghae finds the world darkening, his good hand turning slippery as he gives up trying to pull out the knife. 

Then the silence is broken by a short bark of forced laughter. And Donghae uses what little strength he has to look up, wondering why the client who is standing over him seems so shocked. 

When you stab someone, that person is injured. It was just a matter of balance and exchange like everything else in the world. 

“Why aren’t you screaming?” the client asks then, and Donghae stares up at him in confusion. “You’re in pain… so you’re supposed to scream. Why aren’t you screaming?” 

Donghae seriously considers the question and after a while, comes up with an answer. “It’s because I’m dying.” – or at least that’s what he wants to reply. What really comes out it a soft whine, and Donghae’s control over his mouth collapses. 

There is a heavy thud as the client falls to the floor, stunned. Then he begins muttering frenziedly, talking about payments and money and such. How much the owner of the Zinnia establishment would ask for and whether he would have enough money to pay. 

Donghae supposes he should be concerned about this, but now, he doesn’t care. The world is getting darker and Donghae is getting tired. Now, he just wants to sleep. 

Fondly, he thinks of the person he loves, and how much he wants to see him again. 

He thinks that it’s probably apparent from the way he thinks he hears his name being called by that wonderful voice, and then he sees a figure rushing in through the doorway and catches a glimpse of two swords with the emblem of the Chrysanthemum etched into them. He smiles at what a wonderful hallucination it is

The world turns black. Black like a panther’s side. 

~*~ 


	5. Chapter 5

It’s entirely cliché, but he is woken by white light shining into his eyelids. The light intensifies and Donghae thinks that perhaps the westerners weren’t just spinning tales when they preached about bright lights in the afterlife. It is only when the pain floods in and someone calls his name that he realizes that perhaps he isn’t in heaven after all. 

More likely this is hell, and the devil is trying to torment him with the voice of someone he knows cannot be here. 

He shuts his eyes again (idly wondering if they could be in death) and refuses to open them even as the tempting voice draws closer and a shadow blocks the glaring light. “Donghae?” 

And Donghae, determination and all, opens his eyes because he is human and cannot restrain himself from temptation for long. “Hyuk…jae…?” 

He lets out a silent gasp when he’s suddenly wrapped in a warm embrace, and still, he thinks that the devil really knows his business, taking Donghae’s heart and healing it before the real torture and pain can start. He dares not say a word, squeezing his eyes shut as he listens to this phantom Hyukjae rant. 

“ _ God _ , Donghae. I was just so worried… My heart stopped when I saw the note you left me, and I thought it was because I had been neglecting you that you upped and left. Then, thankfully, I overhead one of the maids gossiping about how Siwon had gone to see you before you took off. And I actually confronted him… and now that I think about it… I’m just grateful that he let me go out of that room without beheading me himself-” 

“What?!” Donghae jerks upright, ignoring the cry of protest his stomach makes. Panting a little, breath suddenly short, he stares at a stunned Hyukjae and scowls. “What did you do that nearly got you beheaded?” 

“Er… mostly ignore rules of etiquette?” Hyukjae answers dazedly before he realizes that Donghae is up when he shouldn’t be. “Hey! Lie down, you’re still not well yet.” 

Donghae dodges Hyukjae’s insistent arms, feeling strangely energetic. He looks down at his stomach, realizing that his robe is loose and he can see the bandages wrapped around his stomach. They look meticulous and are tight without being restrictive – like the way love is supposed to be. 

“I… I was… stabbed.” Donghae blinks, and it all comes back – the running away, the cowardice, the pain… and then the unforeseen hope that a pair of swords brought. “And… then… what happened?” 

Hyukjae sighs, his heart already speeding up at the memory of what had happened. “I came just in time… We had a really stressful time, running around, trying to find you after we stormed into the establishment. Thankfully, we were saved time wrangling details from Mama-san since Leeteuk-sshi was so cooperative… And I thought I lost you there for a moment. Your heart stopped for a while, just before they rolled you into the ER…” 

A hand slides up Donghae cheek, and surprised, he jumps at the touch only to hear a wry snort. “Sorry… This is all my fault…” 

“Why?” Donghae tilts his head, hands reaching up to stop the hand before it retracts. 

“Because, if I had been there beside you, none of this would have happened.” Hyukjae replies as if it’s obvious, and Donghae doesn’t understand. 

“But I was the one who doubted you.” Donghae protests in a whisper, looking away in shame. Now he thinks maybe this is some sort of punishment, and he has to review his sins and atone for them. “I ran away, all because of some silly fears. I thought I was being sacrificial, that I was protecting you from the crown prince’s disapproval. That by leaving, I would prevent dragging you down with me. But the truth was, I was just scared. Scared that you didn’t love me anymore.” 

He half expects Hyukjae to start talking in a gravely deep voice and have flames start shooting out of his eyes as he turns into the devil which will throw Donghae down into hell, but instead, he’s caught into yet another warm embrace, so tight that his ribs squeak in protest. 

“Silly.” Hyukjae scolds – and although Donghae has been expecting admonishment, it is not of this sort. “Idiot… why would I stop loving you? You’re everything that I need, everything that I  _ want _ . My sun, my moon, my stars, my heart, my air, my food, my water, my candy, my light, my… my… whatever other clichés people usually use when declaring their love.” 

A squawk of a laugh is wrestled from Donghae’s lips, and he wonders what kind of devil is this. But then, the warm wet that drips onto his hair and cheeks tells him that, no, this is not some kind of strange other-world scenario; that Hyukjae is really holding him. 

That everything – all of this, was real. That he wouldn’t wake up, the curtains rustling in the wind, heart warm, only to find that it had been all a dream, that in his desperation, he’d imagined the love of his life to feel the empty hole that has been there since forever. 

That there really is a person call Lee Hyukjae, crown prince of Chousen, with blond hair, brown eyes and a kindness that spans across villages of happy smiles and a heart that beats in synch with his own. 

He doesn’t know why, but a glint on the dressing table distracts him. He sees a bunch of ceramic pieces, some bent metal and a ton of sapphires and it takes a while for him to realize it is his hairpin – the one in the form of a lotus and the symbol of the flower he once represented. 

‘Once’ being the acting word. And Donghae smiles – the hairpin was valuable, but he realizes that he’s happy that it’s been shattered. Somehow, it’s a fitting way to declare that he is no longer  _ ‘Renge’ _ . He is no longer the lotus – the flower who is far from the one he loves because the one he loves is right in front of him. Right now. 

And outside, the vendors call for people’s attention, and the goldfish carry happily on, flopping like fools. Cries of bids ring out to purchase a night’s fancy and ambrosia clink in their pouches as jaded Zinnia escape into manufactured relief. 

And somewhere, there is talk of war. Tensions are high, relationships strained. People embrace before they part, torn by issues beyond their control. Someone is left crying at the port, cursing the unfairness of it all. 

Change is coming – some whisper. The foreign gold hair and blue eyes bringing both hope and fear. The future whispers not its being to anyone, and everyone fears what it may bring. 

But here, inside Hyukjae’s warm embrace. Donghae realizes that he doesn’t care. 

‘Tomorrow.’ He thinks. The sadness, the pain, the hurt, the uncertainty – that all can wait for tomorrow. And Donghae thinks that, tomorrow, maybe, he can even save the world. 

He rests his head against Hyukjae’s chest and smiles. And they whisper sweet nothings of the days to come. Of Market days, of temple days, of rice days and all the other sorts. Of all the days except of tomorrow.

And everyone knows that, truly, tomorrow never comes. 

~*~ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cross-posted on LiveJournal and AFF. 
> 
> Ugh. This was nearly 4 years ago. My writing was so obnoxious. Ahahahaha.


End file.
